THE THOUGHTS SHE INHERITS

When I ask a girl, what do you think about yourself?

Do you know how she tells me about herself?

She looks to her thoughts.

“I’m good at this, but I’m not very good at that.“  “I’m fine, but not great.”

And she usually thinks that she is just observing the truth.

It is just what it is.

Relaying the facts to me.

But those sentences she just presented me with feel true ONLY because she believes them!

Not because they are the truths passed down to her from the universe.

Or that they rise up from the depths of truth inside of her.

No. Not at all!

Rather, she is just TAUGHT TO THINK a certain way.

Many times she inherits thoughts from past generations that get passed down from one person to the next.

Perhaps what they value, a religion, or how they view the world.

Other times the society and the culture she lives in impacts her outlook on life.

Maybe she internalized the way a girl should be, or what her culture approves of. How failure is viewed, or success is defined as.  

And of course she can adopt sentences from her parents, family, friends, teachers, coaches…

Especially at a younger age, as children don’t tend to question the thoughts that they are given… whether it’s related to Santa or their own abilities.

And all these thoughts are incredibly powerful, because they create the way she experiences the world…

because these thoughts are what create her FEELINGS.

And some of these thoughts she has inherited might be beautiful, and generate love, hope, or motivation for her.

But others may not be as glorious… and could possibly weigh her down.

So it’s important to understand especially when it comes to these heavier thoughts, that she has the power to keep them, or choose to let them go, as she’d like.

Let me explain…

How the world works is that there are FACTS in the world - such as houses, red cars, our grades, what she did yesterday, or what her friends are saying to her.

And then there are her THOUGHTS about those facts.

For example, an ocean is an ocean.

That's a fact.

And then we can choose our thoughts about that ocean.

Do we see it as dangerous or as beautiful?

Whichever we would choose, would feel very true to us.

The ocean is absolutely beautiful today,” I might think.

But tomorrow, on a stormy night, I might see it as dangerous.

And my sister next to me might see something completely different – “I hate the ocean. It’s too salty” – she might tell me.

But the ocean is still just the ocean.

My interpretation of it is what COLORS it in for me.

And this interpretation is not a fact, just my own optional truth.

And this might be fairly easy to understand when it comes to the ocean, but possibly a bit harder when it comes to ourselves.

Because when she thinks the thought –

I’m not a good dancer. Or I’m just not good at science.

It can feel heavy with truth.

Like it’s a fact.

But dance is just dance, even if she fell during a performance, and a grade is still just a grade. Even if it’s a D-.

Her THOUGHTS about these things are what determine her experience of it.

Not the actual grade, or the performance itself.

And this is important to know, because many girls believe that they are just observing the truth when looking at their own thoughts…

“I’m shy. It’s hard for me to make friends. I’m not good enough.

I’m inadequate. I’m not as good at soccer as my sister.”

And the problem is that when she thinks that these are just facts, that this is just who she is, it then might feel impossible to change.

But when she realizes that her thoughts, unless they are just plain old boring facts, are just interpretations of her world, and she has a million other options to choose from,

SHE THEN FINDS THE SOURCE OF HER POWER.

Because the right way to experience the world is deciding how to think about herself and her world…

ON PURPOSE.

Not with thoughts that she has just silently inherited from great-grandma or adopted from social media.

Or even with ones that just popped into her head.

Rather, her power as a human comes from thoughts that she chooses deliberately.

Because these thoughts will be the ones that become her truths and will determine how she shows up for her life.

Be it with self-doubt.

Or full of CONFIDENCE.