There is a confusion in our society about why we have our human lives.

And your daughter is sold a story,

that FINDING HAPPINESS is the ultimate goal!

And if she were to come to her life and approach it from the motivation to be happy, she'll most likely go through her life trying to figure out what she needs to accumulate, what she needs to do, how she needs to act and be, in order to land at this place called happiness and live happily ever after.

However, if you think about it, she never comes to you and says,

“Let’s read the book of happily ever after.”

And that’s because there are no good stories in there.

Nothing new, exciting, gritty or magical happens.

Because at happily ever after there is nothing that ignites you inside.

You are just content and happy that everything is so great.

And when you understand that happiness is caused by your thoughts in your brain, you can actually find a way to be happy about anything in the world.

And this is actually NOT the most difficult thing to do.

But the problem is, that when you feel happy about what’s going on in the world, you won’t have any motivation to change it or take action towards improving it.

Because you’ll just be content and happy with it all – climate change, injustice, abuse, your current existence.

So the point of our lives is not to land in happiness and stay in contentedness forever…

But rather, pursue your ALIVENESS instead.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING

THAT NOBODY ELSE CAN BRING TO THE WORLD.

You are a unique human, with unique experiences, DNA, brain, knowledge, thoughts, intuition and connections.

And if you are sitting in the corner watching Netflix feeling happy, we will miss it.

We will miss that which is you, as part of the contribution to the overall evolution of humankind.

So I would like to invite you to explore the nooks and crannies, possibilities and impossibilities, the pathways and the journeys that are unlimited in your life.

Many of which might take you through some negative emotion.

Many of which might take you through pain and discomfort...

But through those journeys, pathways and failures, you will find out what you are made of, you will find out who you really are, and you will most likely be delighted by what it means to be you right now in this world.

So when I ask you what you want for your daughter, be careful not to just default to -

I want her to be happy.

Because being happy,

relative to what else is possible in her life, is easy.

What’s much harder, yet has the power to ignite a deep sense of well-being that is way beyond happiness, is to embolden her to pursue her aliveness.  

People are always going to have an opinion about what you do.

They will have an opinion about how you parent, where you live, why you still work at the same job, for goodness’ sake.

And your potential.

Because you are STILL not fulfilling it.

Yes, they are going to have opinions about it all.

And the same goes for your daughter.  

Kids will comment on her looks, her braces, her crush, her grades…

Because not a lot goes unnoticed in elementary school.

Let alone middle school or high school.

But other people’s opinions are usually not a problem for us…

until the dreaded moment when they turn into DISAPPROVAL.

You know exactly where you tend to hear them from the most…

Maybe from your parents. A certain friend. Colleagues. Social media.

Whoever it may be, you know how it makes you feel when it happens…

Angry. Sad. Misunderstood. Rejected. Or even perhaps dejected.

But it actually doesn’t have to be this way… because it kind of works in a funny way.

And that’s because every one of us humans

is almost like a ZOO ANIMAL living in a glass cage.

And you friends, colleagues, parents, partner, siblings, strangers… will periodically walk by and maybe even stop for a little bit and notice a few things here and there.  

Maybe the way you dressed today, or the new way you decorate, who you invited over, or how you or your kids behave…

And they might even tell you – from behind the glass of course – all the things that you should be doing differently.

And there are actually quite a few.

Who knew?!

But since you are behind the glass – you notice that their words don’t really affect you.

You hear them, yes, but from behind the glass it’s mumbled.

Or maybe it’s just the mask.

But either way you realize that from behind the glass, you have a very different view…

AND THEIR WORDS CAN’T ACTUALLY AFFECT YOU.

And then you notice the sign just below your window…

Maybe it’s new?!

You are a zoo animal.

Everyone behind the glass gets to think whatever they CHOOSE.  

And then it hits you…

This is just what humans do when we go to the zoo.

We gawk. We comment. We judge. We wave.

And sometimes we even knock on the window.

But once we exhaust ourselves, we move on.

And then we do it all over again, in front of a different view. 

So let them LOOK. Let them CRITICIZE. Let them MARVEL.

They’ll move on soon enough to find something new.

Because at some point,

we all do.

So many of us might grow up with an expectation that living on our planet Earth, life should be fair, just, and possibly free of catastrophes, thank you very much.   

And this would be a nice sentiment to have… if only it served us.

Because if you know even a little bit about the history of how humans evolved… or even how your own parents, grandparents, great-grandparents lived… you very well know that life for ANY human on our planet, is no walk in the park.

And by design, it’s not supposed to be.

But let’s just pretend for one second that Earth is a fair, just place to be.

Well, what exactly would that mean for us?!

Probably that everyone would be born with the same talents, abilities, and access to wealth and overall health.

Which means that there would then be no point to competing. Or inventing. No injustices or wrongs to do right, or diseases to heal.

In short, we would all live in a calm, peaceful way, without any great big challenges looming over us…

And while this might seem magical at first, humans are not born for a life of idle pleasures…

Because there is an engine inside of us that is super-charged.

And what sets this engine on FIRE… is a challenge, a battle, a fight.

Because as humans we feel most alive when working towards our potential – finding cures, correcting injustices, building bridges, and inventing new solutions.

And this powerful engine within us calls out for GROWTH.

To HELP more, DO more, BE more!!!

In every direction of our lives.

So the next time your daughter tells you that she is scared because of the state of the world…

REMIND HER, THAT THE REASON SHE NOW HAS ACCESS TO

medicine, clean drinking water, freedom of speech,

and a COVID vaccine…

IS BECAUSE OF PAST GENERATION’S BATTLES THAT THEY TRIUMPHED OVER.

Beating polio. Discovering antibiotics. Inventing electricity with a switch of a button. Overthrowing dictators. Passing new laws that give her the right to vote someday!

Because it is actually THROUGH OUR CHALLENGES that the world evolves… trying to make it a better place.

And there is no doubt that your daughter’s generation will have their fair share of struggles… much like any other generation before and after.

But one thing will never change…

Her generation will pick up where we leave off and continue to fight the good fight,

one day.  

Many of our daughters might be considered quiet – at least from the world’s perspective.

And while many of our cultures operate on an “extrovert ideal,” some of the world’s greatest ideas, art and inventions came from the quiet thinkers who know “how to tune into their inner worlds.”

If you have such a daughter, the book Quiet, by Susan Cain will make you feel very grateful and proud that you do.   

And from our perspective, your daughter’s quiet ways can offer a huge added benefit…

A SUPERPOWER even.

You see, no matter what’s happening out there in your daughter’s world – a boring class, a mean comment, or even a divorce - her feelings will always just be generated from the THOUGHTS that she is thinking, and never from any of these actual events.

So if your daughter loves to spend her time weaving colorful stories and fantastic dreams, reading a glorious book, writing a story, or researching a topic she loves, then it doesn’t really matter what else might be going on in the world…

She will generate and feel joy in her body,

with every sentence she reads, writes, or dreams up.

So when she is pretending to win Wimbledon – she will be absolutely thrilled!

When she is playing army in the wild – she will feel brave, adventurous, and triumphant!

And when she is reading or writing a story - she will feel all the emotions her heroine does.

And the best part is that she doesn’t even ACTUALLY have to win Wimbledon, join the army, or save the world, in order to feel VICTORIOUS!  

Instead, all she has to do is lose herself in one of her daydreams or stories.

So your “quiet thinker” has the superpower to block out the world and feel courageous, powerful, and even heroic…

with every sentence she chooses.