HER POWER TO SAY ‘NO’

For many of us girls and Moms, we might feel very confident saying NO in certain areas of our lives…

Maybe at home with our parents. Or with many of our friends and colleagues. Neighbors.

But perhaps NOT with a certain classmate or a teacher. A boyfriend, a coach. Or our boss. 

There might just be one or two areas in our lives - which might even surprise us - where it feels so much easier to people-please… and just give in and say YES.

And why we don’t tend to say no in certain situations is because our brain - which is programmed to keep the peace - makes us feel very UNCOMFORTABLE…

Because if we were to say NO - then what will HE think?

And our brain usually answers that maybe he’ll be mad and think that there is something wrong with you.

Or that you are doing it wrong.

Or you’ll just disappoint him.

And what we have to teach our daughters is that:

YES, HE MIGHT ACTUALLY THINK

ALL OF THESE THINGS!

He might think that there IS something wrong with you.

That you ARE doing it wrong.

And he might even be extremely disappointed.

And what your daughter needs to know is that - IT’S OKAY.

Because his FEELINGS will always come from his own thoughts –

which she can NEVER hurt or control.

And he can choose to think whatever he wants, at any point in time.

And what your daughter may not realize is that what matters even more than what HE thinks about her:

IS WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT HERSELF.

Because when she tries so hard not to disappoint him,

she might just disappoint HERSELF.

Because when she feels it in her gut…

That it’s too much.

Or too soon.

Or goes against her own truth or values…

it actually feels uncomfortable in her own body to choose his wishes over what she would like.

So saying NO will feel uncomfortable,

but so will saying YES.

So we have to prepare her for these moments of discomfort – to learn to stand in her own truth and have her own back.

To feel the discomfort of perhaps feeling awkward or scared…

And saying NO regardless.

And your daughter might slowly recognize that in certain ways she is perhaps LESS powerful than she may have realized.

Because she can’t control him – or anyone else’s thoughts about her – no matter how hard she tries.

And as she learns to release other people’s opinions and starts advocating for herself…

she generates her power to say her own truth:

be it a NO or a YES.